Fear is a part of life that helps you get better at what you want to do unless you are so cautious that you live without fear, which in turn defeats the purpose of life. A lot of people have over the years told me that I come across as so confident that I would hardly fear anything. But that’s so untrue. I am afraid, of a lot of things.
When I was a student, I had a heightened fear of failure. While growing up, I was fearful I wouldn’t find love. As I tried to reach for a ladder higher in my professional life I was afraid I might stumble. Even today every time I hold a mike to anchor an event or when I send out a project proposal, there are a few moments of butterflies in my stomach.
But my biggest fear till date has been the FEAR OF WRITING.
I know it sounds funny since I am a writer today, I not only write for numerous companies but I also manage my blog. As a child, I always wanted to be ‘this’ or be ‘that’ when I grew up but I never dreamt of being a writer.
I was always appreciated for the way I strung together words and wove situations into stories. However, when a career guidance officer once suggested that I should think about taking it up professionally, I was overcome with immense fear. My fear of writing!
So much negativity surrounded me, fuelled by my own apprehensions that at a point I just couldn’t put two words together to make a sensible sentence. A thousand questions in the form of excuses filtered through my mind, every second of every day. I argued with my mother,
Me: I am not a good writer.
Mom: No one is a good or bad writer. A writer is someone who expresses his/her views no matter what. Some people agree with it while some don’t. So just quit this and start writing.
Me: I don’t think anyone will read.
Mom: That’s the silliest thing I’ve heard. Don’t we read what you write? There will be many who identify with what you say and follow your writings. Isn’t that good enough?
Me: What do I write about? I have no idea.
Mom: Write about what you want to. It could be about the birds and the bees or about your dreams. Write about your fear and how you managed to overcome it. Write to inspire other. Just sit and write the first thoughts that come to your mind.
I wanted to write, I wanted to express, I wanted to put pen to paper and but I also was afraid of writing. I was afraid and I wanted just one instant of discouragement, but none came. At least, not from someone whose opinion really mattered. Every excuse was returned by a logical answer, and my fear remained spawned on the floor like a lame duck. Luckily I had a sounding board in my mom who never let the fear ruin my un-expressed dream.
So silently I embarked on my sole journey with my parents cheering on... I unleashed my creativity, my skill and my writings which today has transformed my life. It was a step by step progression. The writing wasn't - hasn’t been easy, but it isn’t tough either. It is extremely time-consuming with multiple efforts to reach that one final draft. I will not say I haven’t failed, I haven’t been disappointed or I haven’t been rejected. But I have made sure that these demons have not held me back. It is complicated but I made sure to beat it, consistently.
Writing for me has been a blessing that I was fearful to receive, but when I did open up to it, I was showered with an ability that added value to my life.
So just like these boys who conquered their fear of exploring untouched territory with their fourth friend Mountain Dew; conquer your fear like I did too. I sat down brought out the laptop and began writing.
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