Just like great philosophers have been embroiled in life’s biggest question “What came first, the chicken or the egg”, all young adults are bound by the eternal dilemma “Do It or Not”.
To ‘Do It’ is all about an emotional high, when you create a union with your own soul that lives in another body. Being united with another being is not about fun or any high, but it’s all about something precious and protected. It’s more of an honour to be chosen as the one to share a wonderful personal experience with. However, it should never be measured in terms of a partner’s ‘worth’ or ‘purity’.
Unfortunately today ‘being intimate’ has nothing to do with love or desire; it’s become more of a status update or a want to please someone or even fall prey to peer pressure. Being a ‘virgin’ brings in a lot of shame among young adults, so it’s hard to remain one.
More than compelling young adults about abstaining and preaching about the ills of pre-marital physical togetherness; they need to be educated about their bodies. Everybody has power, power to worship and to be worshipped, to connect with another. However, it is of utmost importance to respect your own body and offer it to only the most deserving. Religion and culture emphasis about intimacy to be a stepping stone into one’s married life, however when it happens outside a marriage, it cannot be condemned. Physical virtue cannot and should not be equated with virginity; as it is much beyond a few moments spent in abandonment.
Society today is totally hypocritical, believing intimacy as sacred to be cherished with just one post commitment, but behaving as if it has no meaning, being just for fun to experience numerous times to cast aside. There is no definite answer to the question because intimacy and union between humans is very different from that among other living beings. It is a way to express love and want while offering pleasure and desire.
Considering the classic most talked about couple, Adam and Eve who without being brought together by marriage ventured into the restricted territory. They are considered important characters who some believe are to be blamed for the fall of humankind and the existence of sin while some vouch as the saviours of mankind.
Believe in saving oneself for marriage is common, as it is continuously repeated in religious discourses and fed into our beings from a very early age. But for me being together is all about love, all about precious moments and being honoured to share a wonderful experience. As long as one doesn’t cross the threshold for mere fun or under peer pressure or under any influence, it is perfectly fine at the correct age with the right kind of protection and with a correct partner.
So, in a nutshell, I personally wouldn’t view marriage as a license to get intimate.
Every person has a different view which I respect. One such opinion is by renowned Fashion Designer, Novelist Poonaam Uppal in A Passionaate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story. The novel outlines the journey of protagonist Moh Lal Rai from USA to India in search of her true love.
What is your belief, Do It or Not?
~ Heena
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